Give Me Your Best Food Pun, Win a Giant Bag of Locally Produced Groceries

Posted by Holly Whitfield | April 18th 2013 4408 0

Ahem, local foodies: I've got a contest for you, but you'd better act quickly.

Whole Foods Poplar has given me a gigantic bag full of locally-produced groceries to give away to one lucky I Love Memphis reader. All of the items in the (very full) bag come from within 200 miles of Memphis.

Whole Foods Gift Bag

Here's what's in the big, thermal tote bag:

– Giadella's pizza (Nashville, Tenn.)
– Lucchesi's gorgonzola spinach ravioli (Memphis, Tenn.)
– GrowAgra organic wheatgrass juice (Paris, Tenn.)
– Daily Blessing goat milk soap (Hernando, Miss.)
– Thistle Farms body balm (Nashville, Tenn.)
– J. Brooks Coffee (Memphis, Tenn.)
– Lucchesi's marinara sauce (Memphis, Tenn.)
– Kalli's baklava (Memphis, Tenn.)
– International Foods Tahitian bon bons (Smyrna, Tenn.)
– OC Vegan Green Goddess Popcorn (Memphis, Tenn.)
– Aquation water (Nashville, Tenn.)
– Memphis Marinades chicken seasoning (Memphis, Tenn.)
– Nikki's Hot Seasoning (Memphis, Tenn.)

If you combine the pasta, sauce, water and baklava, that's pretty much dinner.

Want it? Here's the deal:

1. You must leave a comment on this post that includes some kind of food-related pun by 5 p.m. today (April 18th, 2013).

2. You must be at least 21 years old.

3. You must be in the Memphis area (because this thing is way to big to mail).

I'll pick a winner based on the quality / groan-worthiness of the pun, based on my own silly whims. If they're all so awesome that I can't choose, I'll enlist the help of a stranger (likely a derby girl). Ready, go!

***We have a winner!***

Congrats to Brooke, who won for this pun:

"A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies."


Author: Holly Whitfield

I write about what’s going on with Memphis music, food, arts, events, sports, people, and culture. Memphians love Elvis and barbeque with a passion that must be seen to be believed, but there is so much more to this place.

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Comments

  1. hillary c says:

    When making butter there is little margarine for error…
     

  2. omelette you finish in a minute but this is the best food pun of all time.

     

  3. Jessica says:

    I would go to the store to grab some cashews, but the store drives me nuts! 

    *yukyukyuk*

  4. melynda says:

    A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion!

  5. Lauren says:

    When someone offers my grandfather an artichoke, he always says "If someone likes those, they 'arti-choke.'" He thinks it's hilarious (and yes, I giggle everytime).

  6. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

  7. Jessie W. says:

    A cannibal showed up late to my dinner party, so I gave him the cold shoulder.

  8. Kelly Hulvey says:

    I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

  9. Tim Taylor says:

    Penne for your tortes?

  10. Amber C says:

    The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. 

  11. Kelly Hulvey says:

    There was a guy who played the organ in his garden to get organically grown food.

  12. Carrie says:

    I can't buy you soy sauce at Whole Foods tonight, but I can shoyu tamari.

     

  13. casey says:

    i relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

  14. lisa miller says:

    I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

  15. Judy Jacobs says:

    What did one leftover say to the other? "Foiled again". 

  16. Nichole says:

    I don’t wanna taco ’bout it.

  17. Sam Tickle says:

    You have to lay out some boundaries, otherwise it is simply a contest to see who has the best memory for funny turns of phrase. Demand original content.

  18. Ryan Rogalski says:

    Did you hear about the Cannibal that went to Memphis in May BBQ fest?  He showed up late so they gave him the cold shoulder! #rimshot

  19. Ali says:

    Being a vegetarian would be a missed steak 😉

  20. Grace W. says:

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  21. Carrie Harris says:

    I decided becoming a vegatarian was a missed steak . 

  22. teddy G says:

    The women who slaved over a hundred ginegrbread men for the church bake sale was devestated to learn her children had eaten the left sides over every single tasty cookie.  Always resourceful, she used marshmellow creme to paste the remaining halves together and redecorate each.  When asked how how the cookies turned out, she smiled and said, "I think they all turned out 'all right'".

  23. david says:

    I'm so very ashamed, but I'm going to go ahead and leave this here…

  24. Lisa says:

    A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

  25. Jarrod says:

    It's too bad this bag doesn't include fresh fish; I'd enter just for the halibut.

  26. Sarah D says:

    I'm about to get jalepeno business.

  27. Brian A says:

    I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

  28. Apperson says:

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  29. Jacob Fish says:

    The cannibal passed his mother in the woods.

  30. Johnathan says:

    My job was outsourced butt we're making ends meat. 

  31. BA says:

    If there were fish in there, I would wonder what the catch was.

  32. Ryan Rogalski says:

    Why does Booker T Jones like to play the organ in his garden?  To make sure his veggies are organically grown!

  33. Nathan says:

    Trying to decide on the best Memphis barbecue is really morsel combat.

  34. Anastasia says:

    Why did the banana go to the psychiatrist? Because it had a split personality.

  35. Cat Pena says:

    Those frat boys were so hungry they eta pi.

     

  36. Jay says:

    Lettuce taco 'bout about how grate the cheese is on Giadella's pizza, how Nikki's Hot Seasoning a salts your senses, and how fun it is to pilaf the layers of Kalli's baklava.

  37. Sarah says:

    In QUESO trouble, pray to CHEESUS. 

     

    (Sorry that one was no GOUDA.  I need to take a BRIEther.)

  38. Cindy says:

    What did one leftover say to another?? Foiled again!! 

  39. George says:

    Your contest pickles me tink!

  40. Rebecca says:

    A man is a bus driver on Sesame Street and insists on meeting all of his riders. At the first stop, two overweight women got on the bus; both are named Patty. At the next stop, a mentally challenged boy named Ross got on. At the final stop, a disgusting man named Lester Freeze got on, took off his shoes, and picked at his bunions.

    When the bus driver got home, his wife asked him if he met anyone new that day.

    He said, "Two obese Patties, special Ross; Lester Freeze picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus."

  41. Missy W says:

    There's some good submissions so far; orange you in a pickle.

  42. Tricia says:

    Holy crêpe! To buy all that food I would definitely knead more dough!

  43. David q. says:

    Food is The "SOLE" of a person's heart!

  44. Dabney Ring says:

    I need to win this because I ran out of chicken seasoning and Ihave been winging it.

  45. richard says:

    My father always said, "Chilli today.  Hot Tamale"  Cracked him up

  46. Susanne says:

    Water you doing, giving away all this awesome stuff? (Ouch, ouch, ouch.)

  47. Sam Tickle says:

    Rosemary, dressed up for dinner in a pepper red sheath kept off the floor by thin spaghetti straps, held the attention of the men in the room carelessly the way another woman might have held an empty cup she did not want refilled but had not yet bothered to set down.

  48. Lauren H. says:

    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta…

  49. Sarah says:

    I've given up on being a vegetarian. It'd be a missed steak.

  50. Diane says:

    Whenever I eat yogurt I always feel cultural which makes me want Indian food but you have naan left.

  51. Kristin says:

    A nosy pepper gets jalapeño business. 

    Bwahahahaha!!! That's so funny… err, punny! 

  52. Christian says:

    Ms. Tomato blushed because she saw Mr. Green pea. 

  53. Brooke Hudsmith says:

    A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

     

    I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

     

    Her company distributes gift boxed cashews and she has a delivery guy that drives her nuts.

  54. Kristin says:

    I like Tricia's pun.  Holy crepe… Knead more dough. My vote is for her. 

  55. Allison says:

    My roommate uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and parmesan cheese, which I hate. It really is the grater of two evils. Pie don't know why!

  56. Toni says:

    Even if I do not win, I'll still love this blog – kumquat may

  57. Ken S says:

    Old colanders never die, they just can't take the strain anymore.

  58. Jessica says:

    I'm all souped up and bready to go!

  59. Robbie says:

    Did anyone hear about how I got hit in the head with a can of soda today? Thank goodness it was a soft drink….

  60. Bonnie B. says:

    Do you even "carrot" at all to eat and buy local products!?  😉

  61. Tiffany Cadenhead says:

    What did the British cannibal eat for supper?

    fish and chaps

  62. Dan says:

    I'm rather fond of pan sauces.

  63. Claire says:

    My favorite Boston Celtics Champion?  Kevin McKale!

  64. Sam Tickle says:

    Away in garde manger, no crab in its stead, a poor little shoat lost his pink head. The terrines in their pans looked down where it lay- a little head cheese is asleep in the hay.

    Grim, but original.

  65. Jessica says:

    what did the pickle say to the cucumber?  i'm kind of a big dill

  66. Amanda W says:

    Curry, we need to ketchup! 

  67. Ryan says:

    Don't worry if your favorite dinner becomes unfashionable – at least you'd have one square meal.

  68. Barton says:

    The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

  69. David q. says:

    Time to party and get the "turnips" on!  

  70. Natalie Garber says:

    Feta doesn't get my goat.

  71. Allie says:

    Why was the potato lost? It was for gratin.

  72. Sam Tickle says:

    On a lighter note- What did the waiter do when Romaine came to the table undressed? He seized her salad.

  73. Sam Tickle says:

    Which fish did not get an invitation to the palace ball? Salmon-ella.

     

  74. Stephanie Peck says:

    What's a Memphis basketball's fan favorite part of a steak?  The Grizz(tle)….because we know our Grizzlies are tough…and they bring the flavor to the court!

  75. Andrea says:

    "I-tal-ya" I really want to win this basket!! 

    That was punny, right?!?

  76. Andy says:

    I'm bacon brownies!

  77. Sam Tickle says:

    Chocolate chips, ginger snaps, and poor little honey jumbles-

    these are the most dramatic,

    but every cookie crumbles

  78. Peggy Cousar says:

    I can't be bothered to stew over this issue. And, of course, I don't have thyme to come up with anything.

  79. Katherine Whitfield says:

    Do I like pasta for dinner? What a fusili question! That's as good as it's gonna getti.

  80. Tessa says:

    I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

  81. Kim says:

    Makin' groceries, Memphis-style, always makes this NOLA chick smile.

  82. Amanda says:

    Lettuce romaine hungry as we flounder trying to milk this nom-test for all it's worth. 

  83. Zetaron says:

    Enjoy, eat and drink that life is short.

  84. M. Spence says:

    I may be late, but sill willin'.

  85. Matt M says:

    Before home games, I heard Gasol gets the "grindhouse salad" at MPC.

  86. That gift basket looks great!

  87. Renee says:

    What did the peppermint say to the jolly rancher? I'm kind of in a pickle!

    ba da bum ding!!!

  88. Sarah Hope says:

    The man was ambidextrous, so he could eat sugar with both hands. 

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